TCODG|道连·格雷的自白-1.4:孤心血泪(英汉对照)

Vla配音的Dorian和Hugh配音的吸血鬼Toby真是天生一对

道连·格雷的自白:

道连·格雷的自白


The Confessions ofDorian Gray


S01E04 The Heart That Lives Alone 孤心血泪




听写 by  @两斤氯化钠 (微博@两斤硫酸铜)


翻译 by @突击爵士 (微博@哈姆林的透明子)


校对 by @两斤硫酸铜 @戚润薇 @椘晓Abigail


全中文整理版地址:http://mp.weixin.qq.com/s?__biz=MzIyNDA2MDYxNQ==&mid=2651309788&idx=2&sn=9d772bbb55d716d43af2a092d18781c3#rd




Synopsis


剧情梗概


1986年,惠特比。在“皇家星月酒店”的一场化妆舞会上,道连邂逅了神秘莫测的托拜亚斯·马修斯——一个令他欲罢不能的男人……同时也身负许多危险的秘密。道连终于找到他的另一半了吗?


Whitby,1986. At a masked soiree on the Royal Crescent, Dorian meets the elusive andenigmatic Tobias Matthews: a man he is instantly drawn to... but also a man with dangerous secrets. Has Dorian Gray finally met his match?




Note: The Confessions of Dorian Gray contains adult material and is not suitable for younger listeners.




Written By:Scott Handcock


Directed By: Scott Handcock




Cast


Alexander Vlahos (饰 道连·格雷Dorian Gray)


Hugh Skinner (饰 托拜亚斯·马修斯Tobias Matthews)


Marilyn Le Conte (饰  艾米丽亚Emilia)


Wilf Scolding (饰  理查德  Richard)


4.01


AlexanderVlahos


呃……又一个我特别喜欢的故事。这是出自第一季的《孤心血泪》,由Scott Handcock撰写。本故事在听众当众也是人气爆棚,原因不言自明。


1986年,在惠特比的海边上,道连终于在这个伤心的故事里遇到了他的另一半。负责为无比神秘莫测的托拜亚斯·马修斯代言的是HughSkinner,录音棚里的他真叫绝了。他的自我发挥出神入化,把Scott笔下的人物塑造得栩栩如生。


说真的,关于这集对托比和道连两人关系的定位,我跟Scott还有争执之处。真爱?灵魂伴侣?我们各执己见。不过话又说回来了,我凭什么挑战编剧大人的脑洞呢?


还是请各位来定夺吧。


Err…Now it’stime for the second of my favourites. This time, from the first series, and it’s The Heart That Lives Alone written by Scott Handcock. This story has found itself as a firm favourite in the heart of the listeners and it’s not hard to see why.


It’s 1986, and Dorian has finally met his match in this truly heartbreaking tale set on the coast of Whitby. Hugh Skinner, who plays the super-elusive and secretive Tobias Matthews, was a dream to have in the studio. He made some fantastic choices?and created a wonderful character to complement Scott’s words.


To be honest, this episode and particularly the main relationship between Toby and Dorian is still something myself and Scott squabble over to this day. True love? Or soulmates? We both believe in something different. But then again, who am I to contest the motives of the writer?


I’ll let you decide.




4.02


Dorian


那是在惠特比。


It was Whitby.


Toby


那是在80年代。


It was the 80s.


Dorian


那是在一场据说完败其他所有派对的派对上。


The party to end all parties, so they said.


Toby


还是那群人。还是那帮跟屁虫们。


The same old crowd. Same old hangers-on.


Dorian


共同狐朋狗友把我们凑到了一起。


情况是这样的。一座在盛夏时节里歌舞升平的海滨小城。一位熟人邀请我参加在“皇家新月酒店”举办的一个派对,一场化装舞会,在那座保持乔治王朝风格的小楼里,这里的其他此类建筑大都被改造成了酒店或者民宿小旅馆。


到场的人我差不多都认识。哪怕他们都戴着面具。至于那些我不认识的?他们根本不值一哂。


Mutual friends have a lot to answer for.


Picture the scene. A delightful little coastal town at the height of summer. An acquaintance of mine invited me to a party on the Royal Crescent, a masked soiree in the grand oldGeorgian townhouse, one of the few that hadn’t been converted into hotels or BnBs.


I knew most of the people there. Even behind their masks. And those I didn’t? They weren’t worth knowing.




Emilia


“道连!道连,你来了?近来可好?对了,我喜欢你这身造型。真没想到你还是‘Adam& the Ants’ [1]的粉丝。叫什么来着,《白马王子》对吗?”


Dorian! Dorian, is that you?


How have you been? Loving the out fit by the way.


Never had you down asan Adam & the Ants fan. Prince Charming, isn’t it?




Dorian


“白马王子”。我有好多好多年没听到别人这样叫了,其中精髓只有我才能领会。不过就这样对大家都好。


没错,我说那些人跟我差不多算是认识,意思其实是那些人完全不了解我。没人了解我。我估计以后也不可能会有。


Prince Charming. Aname I hadn’t heard in a great many years, the significance of which only I would understand. But then that was probably for the best。


So yes, when I said that most of the people there knew me, what I actually meant was no one knew me at all. No one does. And I suspect that actually no one ever will.


Toby


凡事不能只听一面之词。道连总是那么自命不凡,自以为独树一帜。他自恃美貌无往不利,就算如此吧。但有的时候,这种时候不多,得有人给他浇盆凉水,两盆。


But there were two sides to every story. Dorian always likes to think that he’s special, that he’s somehow unique. That his good looks will carry him through, and perhaps they will. But sometimes, just sometimes, someone has to bring him down a peg or two.




Dorian


那晚是我第一次见到那男人。我不认识他,但我隐隐感到,他并非不值一哂。他随着夜幕一起降临。


I’d never met that man before that night. He was someone I didn’t know, and yet somehow, worth knowing. He rocked up just as dusk began to fall.


Toby


我可没有迟到,顺便提一下。


I was on time, justfor the record.


Dorian


结实的小腹,紧身牛仔裤,一副对化装行头满不在乎的样子。


Snakehips, tight jeans, hadn’t really made an effort on the costume front. 


Toby


我那是在扮MartyMcFly[2]。


I’d gone dressed as Marty McFly.


Dorian


那身衣服是摸黑穿上的吗?脏兮兮的领子,破破烂烂的衣袖,乱糟糟的头发。然而他看上去还是那么帅。


It was like he got dressed in thedark. Scruffy collar, torn sleeves, and massive ruffled hair. He looked good though.


Toby


那当然。


‘Course I did.


Dorian


而且他深谙粉墨登场之道。在他现身的那一刻,所有人的目光都离我而去。好像他们光凭感觉就能知道是他来了一样。他所到之处人们纷纷让路,就连我也完全没法把目光从他身上挪开。


And he knew how to make an entrance.The moment he entered the building, everyone took their eyes off me. It was as though they sensed his presence. People parted wherever he walked and I couldn’t take my eyes off him, not once.


Toby


你说过我是你有生以来见过最美的男人。


You told me I was the most beautiful man you’d ever seen.


Dorian


我可是把镜子里的自己都算上了。不过没错,他跟我在之前岁月里结识的任何人都不一样。他有一种魅力,一种令我心动的魅力。我得跟他说上话才行。


 


“…你好,你哪位?抱歉,鉴于你我都还不认识我还是老老实实打招呼好了。在下道连·格雷,幸会。你肯定听说过我的传闻吧。大家都知道。要不…呃…我请你喝一杯?”


And I’ve looked in the mirror. But,yes, he was unlike anyone I’ve ever met in years. There was something about him, something that had an affect on me. And I knew I had to speak with him.


…Hello, who’s this then? Sorry, thought I should say hello as we’d not met yet. Dorian Gray, delighted to meet you.Sure you’ve already heard some stories. Most people have. Can I…er…get you adrink?


Toby


“呃…好啊,不喝白不喝。给我来杯JD[3],简单就好。先谢了,道连。”


Er…yeah, go on, why not? I’ll have a JD, nice andsimple. Cheers, Dorian.


Dorian


他冲我甜甜地一笑。那笑容能把人融化。我也对他报以微笑。然后我走开了,去给他拿“杰克丹尼”,等我回来,他人却不在了。


He shot me the sweetest smile I’dever seen. A smile that made you melt. And I smiled back. So I darted off, grabbed him a Jack Daniels, then, when I turned back, he wasn’t there.


Toby


我到外面透气去了。


I’d stepped outside for some fresh air.


Dorian


要不是我心里有数,像他这样放我鸽子,我不火大才怪。这一点,他是不了解我的。


If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he’d done it to wind me up,walking off the way he had. Still, he wasn’t to know.


Toby


要留下第一印象,道连。


First impressions, Dorian.


Dorian


我好不容易才在花园里找到他,他正面朝大海眺望,云层呈现出绚丽的紫色。


他准是听到我来了。


Eventually I found him in the gardens, looking out across the sea, the clouds a brilliant purple.


He must have heard me coming.


Toby


“你真磨蹭啊。”


You took your time.


Dorian


“那个,我是不是哪里冒犯了你?一般人不会就那么把我撂下。”


Well, I thought I might have off ended. Not often people abandon me like that.


Toby


“肯定不会。如果传闻属实的话。”


Not ever. Not if the stories I’ve heard are true.


Dorian


“看来我已经是声名在外了。”


Well I see my reputation proceeds me.


Toby


“你不是喜欢那样吗?省得兜圈子。”


Well that’s how you like it, isn’tit? Saves you time?


Dorian


“但是你…你…”


Where as you…you…


Toby


“你说?”


Yes?


Dorian


“好吧,就是说…你…你引起了我的注意。”


Well, you…just…


You interest me.


Toby


“这样。”


I do.


Dorian


“嗯哼。对一般人我不会像这样子。我不会允许自己像这样。”


Uh huh. And I don’t get like this around people. I don’t allow myself to get like this.


Toby


“哦,怎样?”


Oh, like what?


Dorian


“你懂。”


You know like what.


Toby


“是吗?也许吧。难得你还跑来找我。还要谢谢你请的酒。不过我真的想要静静,一个人静静。回去接着玩吧,道连。你玩开心点,我就不去了。”


Yeah? Maybe I do. And it’s sweet that you came out here. Thanks for the drink, by the way.


But really I just wanted some time alone? By myself? Go back to the party, Dorian. Have a good time, without me.


Dorian


“我不介意继续呆在这里,就像你说的,呼吸一下新鲜空气还有——”


Oh I don’t mind staying out here, like you say, a breath of fresh air and all that-


Toby


“你没什么与众不同的,道连。没错,你一表人才,心情好的时候能把所有人都哄得团团转,但是事情不是你动动手指头那么容易。这套对我没用。好了你快回去继续玩你的。进屋去。这才是乖孩子。”


You’re nothing special, Dorian. Yeah,you’ve got the looks and you say all the right things to all the right people when it suits you, but you can’t just click your fingers. Notwith me. Now run along and enjoy yourself. Inside. Now there’s a good boy.


Dorian


“你还会回来的,对吧?”


You are coming back though, aren’tyou?


Toby


“看!着!办!”


Find out.


4.03


Dorian


他再也没回来。我等了整整一晚上。站在大门口痴痴地等。


他的态度很明确。他不想要我。对我没兴趣。这么多年来头一次,我受打击了。


按说我该让事情就这么过去。区区一个男人而已,一个跟我素昧平生的男人。既然我们从未有过前缘,谁说今后一定能发生故事?


这样想的同时,我发现自己并非毫无希望,就算他不这样想。


He never did come back. I waited there all evening. I stood by the doors just waiting.


He made his point. He didn’t want me. Wasn’t interested. And for the first time in years, I hurt.


In many ways I should have simply let it go. He was just one man after all, one man I’d spentno time with whatsoever. It’s not like our paths had crossed before. No reason they should again.


But at the same time, I saw potential, even if he couldn’t.


Toby


其实我也这样想的。但我不表露。


Actually I could. I don’t let it on.


Dorian


后来我打听到他名叫“托拜亚斯·马修斯”


I later found out his name was Tobias Matthews.


Toby


朋友们管我叫“托比”。


Toby, to my friends.


Dorian


我们混的圈子差不多。有共同的朋友。所以我全力以赴去把他给找出来。


We mixed in similar circles. Mutual friends. So I made it my mission to seek him out.


Richard


“啊哈,托比你在这儿呢。找你好久了,来认识认识我这位好朋友。道连·格雷。”


Ahhh Toby there you are. Been looking for ya. I wanted you to meet a very good friend of mine. Dorian Gray.


Toby


“认识您真让我倍感荣幸,格雷先生。”


Thrilled to make your acquaintance,Mister Gray.


Dorian


“这个嘛,其实我们之前有见过。”


Well, actually we have met once before.


Toby


“有吗?”


We have?


Dorian


“今年夏天在惠特比。你说我没什么与众不同的。还记得吗?”


In Whitby over the summer? You told me I was nothing special. Don’t you remember?


Toby


“不记得了。不过嘛,也许我说的没错。”


No. But then, maybeI had a point.


Dorian


还真没有谁对我用这种态度的。


I wasn’t used to being treated this way, by anyone.


Toby


呵,他吃这套。


Oh he loved it.


Dorian


像这样势在必得、处心积虑地去赢得对方的友谊。换平常,哪个人不是我召之即来。


To have to fight, to campaign for someone’s friendship. Usually, people flocked around me.


Toby


对我可行不通。等他的好奇心已被撩拨到了极致,整个人饥渴难耐,受够了几个月来我对他的例行羞辱,好了,该给点甜头了。我就爱这出。


“你今晚玩得尽兴吗?道连!我问你,有没有尽兴?”


But not me. And so, with his curiosity peaked, his appetite whetted, and several months ofritual humiliation under his belt, eventually I relented. I’m nice like that.


You having fun tonight? Dorian! Isaid, you having fun?


Dorian


“你可算想起我是谁了?”


You remembered who I am then?


Toby


“你没回答我的问题。”


That’s not an answer is it?


Dorian


“你也没回答我的。你来找人?”


Nor is that. Are you looking for someone?


Toby


“对。”


Yeah.


Dorian


“这里明明就我一个——”


Because I’m the only one out here-


Toby


“嘘——。我知道。你这人就是不达目的不罢休,道连。看到想要的东西,你就千方百计要弄到手,对不对?不过说真的,我真没想到都这样了还没把你磨光。”


Shhhh. I know. You’re a persistent man, Dorian. See something you want, and you absolutely have to have it, don’tyou? I have to be honest, I didn’t really think you’d still have it in you.


Dorian


“你在说什么?”


What are you talking about?


Toby


“那股热情。那份斗志。你习惯了高高在上将他人玩弄于股掌。我就想看看没了这个,你还能怎么玩下去。”


That spark. That fight. You’re soused to being in control of having the upper hand. I wanted to see how you’d cope without all that.


Dorian


“那我玩得怎么样?”


And how have I coped?


Toby


“糟糕。”


Badly.


Dorian


“哈?!”


Huh?!


Toby


“非常糟糕。”


Very badly.


Dorian


“真是谢你谬赞了。”


Oh thank you.


Toby


“不必客气。话说回来,我准备走人了。”


You’re welcome. Anyway, look, I was thinking of heading off soon.


Dorian


“那晚安。”


Night, then.


Toby


“呵呵,我看你是没懂我的意思。我要走了,你跟着我一起。我就知会你一下。”


Yeah, I don’t think you’re quite getting this. I’m heading off soon, and you’re coming with me. Thought I should tell you.


Dorian


“好吧,那行,你说什么就什么。”


Yeah, well, that’s fine, whatever.


Toby


“很好,跟上吧。”


Good, come on then.


Dorian


简直就像中了毒瘾。从我见到他的第一眼起,我就渴望呆在他身边。与他形影不离。每一分每一秒都不愿分开。


It was like some kind of addiction.Since the moment we first met I craved his company. To be in his presence. Just for a minute, just for a second.


Toby


所以我就这样吊着他的胃口。直到胜券在握。


“谢了,师傅。”


So I kept cutting off his supply. Until I was sure.


Cheers, drive.


Dorian


那晚,他把我带回到他的住处。那是一座由教堂改建的公寓楼,位于伦敦西边。前不着村后不着店的。斑驳的墙上爬满蜘蛛网,到处堆满杂物,日子过得有滋有味的样子。有点像在卖弄。


That night, he took me back to hisplace. A flat in a converted church, just west of London. Almost the middle of nowhere.It wasall crumbling walls and cobwebs, stuffed with the trappings of a life well lived. Ostentatious,perhaps.


Toby


哼,这叫风情。


Well, sexy, then.


Dorian


从我们离开派对一路过来,他一言不发。唯一一次开口是给出租司机小费。他只管走在前面随便我要不要跟上去。


He hadn’t breathed a word since we left the party. Except to tip our cabbie. He just took the lead and allowed meto follow if I wanted.


Toby


他跟上来了。


Which he did.


Dorian


我跟上去了。


随着他打开房门,我意识到,事情不是我以为的那个样子。


Which I did.


Then when he opened the door, I realised, things weren’t quite what I expected.


Claire


“你好吗,亲爱的?回来这么晚。”


Alright, darling? You’re back late.


Toby


“抱歉,抱歉,呃…你今晚过得怎么样?宝贝,这是我一位朋友,道连。道连,这是……道连?你还好吧,伙计?”


Sorry, sorry, and…er…how was your evening?


Sweetheart, this is a friend of mine, Dorian. Dorian, this is…


Dorian? You okay, mate?


Dorian


“好好,很好。对不起,我有点懵了。我以为……这样的,既然你带我回到这里,我想我是不是要……好吧,我没想要怎么样。我的意思是说我压根料不到…还有她?我们是…要不要……你懂的?我们仨…呃……”


Y-yeah, yes. Sorry, I’m a little confused. I thought…


Well, when you invited me back here, I suppose I assumed…


Well, not that I assumed anything. What I mean is I wasn’t expecting…her?


Are we…going to…you know? The three of us…erm…


Toby


“干嘛?哦,不,不,不会,不会。不是那样子的。别误会,克莱尔只是我留着以备不时之需的小东西。不过我觉得你说得对 ,既然都有你了,我也没必要留着她了。”


What? Oh no, no, no, no. Nothing like that. No, Claire’s just a little something I’ve been keeping to tide me over. But you’re right, I suppose, now you’re here, I don’t need her.


Claire


“哎?”


Urgh?


Toby


“对不住了,宝贝。”


Sorry, sweetheart.


4.04


Dorian


我眼看着他把獠牙刺进她肉里,嘴唇紧衔着她的喉咙,一股鲜血逐渐汇入她的乳沟。她一边用眼神向我求救,一边大声哭喊着让他住手,然后终于……


I watched as he plunged his teethinto her flesh, clamping his lips around her throat, and a river of blood beganto flow across her cleavage. She looked at me with pleading eyes, all the whilecrying out at him to stop, until eventually…


Toby


“吃完啦!”


Done now.


Dorian


随着他的手腕轻轻一拧,一个毛骨悚然的折断声,那姑娘的脖子扭曲着从肩上耷拉下来。


我朝门口奔去。


With the slightest flick of his wristand a dreadful crack, the young girl’s neck twisted upand off her shoulders.


I made for the door.


Toby


我截住了他。


I stopped him.


Dorian


“你—你是什么鬼东西?”


What-what the hell are you?


Toby


“你说呢?来嘛,猜猜看。”


What do you think? Go on, have aguess.


Dorian


托比冲我露出那甜甜的笑脸,一对白森森的尖利獠牙从他的嘴角冒出来。那样子就像是被杀戮的兴奋给引诱出来似的。


“你是—你是个吸血鬼。”


Toby shot me his sweetest smile, anda pair of sharp white fangs protruded from the corners of his mouth. It was asthough the excitement of a kill had teased them out.


You’re a- You’re a vampire.


Toby


“一猜就中,你真是个聪明孩子!我嘛,更喜欢管自己叫‘新潮死者[4]’。好了,我们刚到哪儿了?你是不是说要喝一杯?我都想不起来了。”


Oh got it in one,you clever boy!Or as I prefer to term it,fashionably late. Nowthen, where were we? Did you want a drink or not? I can’t remember.


Dorian


“你说啥?”


I’m sorry?


Toby


“金汤力,对不对?抱歉,我该先招待你才对,我也没想到自己居然这么呃……饿。请坐,对了,我来把地儿腾一下。”


“这就对了。好了,你请随意。”


Gin and Tonic, isn’t it? Sorry, Ishould’ve asked sooner, I wasn’t expecting to be so erm…peckish. Do sit down,by the way, I’ll make some room.


There we are. Now, make yourself athome.


Dorian


“啥?搞什么?”


“Huh?What?


Toby


“来,没加冰,只有柠檬。”


“好家伙,别急,伙计。悠着点。”


“再来一杯?”


Yeah, no ice, just lemon.


Blimey, take your time, mate. Steady on.


Another?


Dorian


“你说呢?”


What d’you think?


Toby


“哦哦,好样的哥们儿。再来?凑个彩头?”


Oh, well that’s a boy.


And again? For luck?


Dorian


哎哟喂那晚上我可是喝得一塌糊涂。


Ohhh I drank a lot that night.


Toby


“接下来怎么说。”


So then.


Dorian


“有话直说。”


So.


Toby


“你把我当个怪物看,是不是?”


You think I’m a monster, don’t you?


Dorian


“你难道不是?”


Aren’t you?


Toby


“呵呵,这个问题该怎么回答呢?你要知道,我压根不想变成这样。我只是尽力打好手里的一副烂牌而已。又不是我主动要求变成这个样子。不像某些人。”


Oh, how to answer that one?


You must know, I never wanted this.I’m just making the best of a bad hand that’s dealt me. It’s not like I everasked to be this way. Unlike some.


Dorian


他那冰冷的手掌抚上我的脸颊,手指拨弄着我的头发,然后用一片指甲划过我的颧骨,划开了那里的皮肤。


He rested a frozen palm against mycheek, teasing his fingers through my hair, then raked asingle nail along my cheekbone, splitting it open.


“啊啊……”


Ahhhh!


Toby


我把沾血的指甲往舌头上一抹。他尝起来很新鲜,而且非常年轻。


I ran the bloodied nail along my tongue.He tasted fresh and so very young.


Dorian


随着我的伤口愈合,消失,他笑了,看来事情正如他所想。


He smiled as my wound began to heal,fading away, as though his point was proved.


Toby


“看来传闻是真的。道连·格雷,不死之身。我就知道你还是有与众不同的地方。永生不朽,超凡之人,跟我一样。”


So the stories are true. Dorian Gray,immortal. I knew there was something special about you. A timelessness, a man outof place, like me.


Dorian


“我跟你才不一样。”


I’m not like you.


Toby


“不一样?明明你也杀过人,不是吗?没有才怪了。活到我们这年岁,什么事情都腻歪了。迟早会去找刺激。没准儿还找出感觉了不是吗?我有说错?”


No? But you’ve killed though, haven’tyou?


‘Course you have. When you live aslong as we have, you get bored. You’ll soon try anything. Maybe even develop ataste for it? Tell me I’m wrong.


Dorian


“没错。”


No.


一想到这家伙对我了如指掌,或者说他自以为对我了如指掌,千思万绪在我的脑海里炸开了。我这么轻易就中了他的蛊惑?就这么在他的驱使下一步步去寻觅他?去追求他,渴望他,依恋他。


“你想从我这儿得到什么,托比?”


A million thoughts were racingthrough my head, the things this creature knew of me or thought he knew. Hadhe really manipulated me so easily? Had he forced me to seek him out the way Ihad? To make me chase him, want him, need him.


What do you want from me, Toby?


Toby


“你说呢?我就这么一个人过了一辈子。好几辈子,本来以为今后也就这样永远下去了。我是说,我们这种体质又不能随便找个人一起慢慢变老,对不对,道连?但是你不一样,对吧?


What do you think? I’ve spent alifetime on my own now. Several lifetimes, thinking I’d be alone forever more.I mean it’s not like we can just grow old with anyone, is it, Dorian? Onlyyou’re not anyone, are you?


Dorian


“你是说你只想找个伴儿?“


You’re saying you just want company.


Toby


“怎么,你不想?凡人总是稍纵即逝。你还没来得及动心,就先把他们放弃了,因为你知道结局注定是一场空。他们会凋零、会枯萎、会腐朽。而你,你是与众不同的。”


Well, don’t you? Normal people comeand go so quickly. You surrender them before they can even matterbecause you know, they’ll let you down. They’ll wither, and waste,and rot. But you, you’re something special.


Dorian


他双手捧着我的脑袋,额头挨着我的额头。


He took my head in his hands andpressed his forehead into mine.


Toby


“我用这双眼睛看尽红尘万千,道连。我本来万念俱灰,而今,而今我遇上了你。你我俱是万劫不复之人。也许我们从此可以不负此生。”


I’ve seen so much with these eyesnow, Dorian. I was beginning to lose all hope, but now, now I’ve met you. A mancursed in the same way I am. Maybe now wecan make a proper go at life.


Dorian


我醉眼朦胧地看着他。明明是个怪物,却穿着丹宁衫,一头灰金色的乱发,套着紧身牛仔裤。一般人根本不会盯着他看。


I looked at him through drunken eyes.This monster, dressed in denim, dirty blonde hair, tight jeans. Youwouldn’t think to look at him.


Toby


“你天性欲求不满,我了解你。你绝不会安于现状,然后你遇到了我。我来让你见识见识,看看你都错过了些什么。”


You’ve always wanted more to life,I know it. You’ve always hoped for something more, and now you found me. Let meshow you, what you’ve been missing.


Dorian


他用一只手把我搂到胸前,把我拉近。他呼出的冰冷气息沿着我的脖颈滑下来。我感觉到他的牙齿在我的喉咙处试探,轻柔地触碰,在我的颈静脉上流连。他就这样在那里徘徊了片刻,勾起我心中的那份恐惧,那份期待,那份对他的渴望。


He slipped an arm around my chest,and pulled me closer, his cold breath slithering down my neck. I could feel histeeth teasing a route across my throat, pressing, gently, insistent against myjugular. He hovered there for a moment, craving my sense of dread, theanticipation, waiting for me to want him.


Toby


“相信我,道连。请相信我。”


Trust me, Dorian. Please.


4.05


Dorian


然后,他的牙刺入我的身体。


And then his teeth drove into me.


Toby


“好啦,好啦……”


Okay…Okay…


我从没打算要把他也转化了。我不想他变得跟我一样。我只想让他感受我的能力,让血的羁绊把我们维系在一起,永远。


I never intended to sire him. I didn’t want him to belike me. I simply wanted to share the gift I had, to bind us with blood,forever.


Dorian


从那一刻起,我的感官升华了。目光所见的一切都比以前更美了,来自生命的璀璨光芒,我有好多年没有感受到了。


也许托比是对的。也许我们的结合对彼此都是有益的。我们抑制住了对方欲望。有我提供血源,他不必再去杀戮,而我也摆脱了对药物和肉欲的依赖。


我们夜复一夜相会。可惜,只能是夜。


每当那对尖牙刺入我的喉咙深处,一连串刺激的让我找回了活着的感觉。


From that moment, my senses were heightened. I couldsee more beauty, everywhere I looked, a brilliance in lifethat I’ve not enjoyed in years.


Maybe Toby was right. Perhaps we could be good foreach other. We curbed each other’s enthusiasms. He no longer needed to kill,with me to sate him, and I found myself less dependent on narcotics and the temptationsof the flesh.


We saw each other, night after night. But, only night.


Every time I felt those fangs drive deep into my throat,the sensations pulled me back to being alive.


Toby


然而,每当我在啜吸他的鲜血时,我注意到他的脸上又衍生出一条细纹。几不可辨,换做别人根本看不出来。这就是那些罪孽的体现。我不敢跟他说这事。


And yet, every time, I drank from him, I’d spy anotherline upon his face. The slightest, most perfect creases on his skin. Imperceptibleto most, but not to me. His sins were catching up with him. I never dared tellhim.


Dorian


“轻点,托比。轻点。”


Gentle, Toby, please.


Toby


“你明明就喜欢。”


Well you love it.


Dorian


我全身心地迷恋上他。我才不管将来发生什么,再说我爱极了与他相处的时光。他跟我讲起那些他在我出生以前做过的事。他参加过的那些舞会。他认识的那些人。


I was hooked on him, completely. I didn’t care aboutwhat might happen, and what’s more I loved his company. He told me of some ofthe things he’d done long before I was born. The balls he danced at. The peoplehe’d known.


Toby


“来嘛,说说你遇到过的最有名的人。最有名的。”


Well, go on then, the most famous person you’ve evermet. Ever.


Dorian


“哦,这样,我估计那就是奥斯卡了。你呢?”


Oh, erm, I suppose it would have to be Oscar. Howabout you?


Toby


“啊,真不好下结论。我倒是一直对华兹华斯情有独钟来着。”


Ah, so many choices. Always had a soft spot forWordsworth mind.


Dorian


“华兹华斯?叫‘威廉’[5]那个?”


Wordsworth? As in William?


Toby


“没错,怎么了?”


Yeah? Why?


Dorian


“哦,没什么。”


他从不提自己的年龄。然而他看起来年轻极了。有时我会忘了他的本质。我们从此不再去纠结那些凡人,不再把生命浪费到那些人身上。我们把各自多年来积累的见闻与对方分享,那些只有我们发现的秘密,我们有过的奇遇。他还教会了我画画。


一开始进行得并不顺利,不过他还是坚持让我学。我后来还真画出了一点名堂。于是有一天,我突发奇想,问他可不可以给他画肖像。


Oh, no reason.


He never did say how old he was. Andyet he looked so very young. Sometimes I forgot what he truly was. We soonaccepted the other for what they were and stopped wasting our lives on otherpeople. All the knowledge we’d amassed across the years we could now share witheach other, all the secrets we’d uncovered. The encounters we’d enjoyed. He’deven taught me to paint.


Not very well, at first, but he wasdetermined. I even got quite good at it. So, one day on a whim, I asked if I couldperhaps paint him.


Toby


“不!不可以!”


No! No!


Dorian


“为什么不可以?”


他说一不二,我只得作罢。


然后,过了一天还是两天,我发现他猫在我的书房里,眼珠子盯着角落里的一块画布。


“托比?你怎么了?”


Why not?


What was all he had to say,so we left it at that.


Then, a day or two later, I found himskulking in my study, eyeing up a canvas in the corner.


Toby? Are you alright?


Toby


“没事。我没事。我只是……不太能接受,这么说呢,这个想法。我有好多年,好几百年没有看到过自己的脸了。我也曾经缅怀过自己的影像并接受了失去它的事实。一想到自己现在是什么模样,怎么说呢,我感到害怕,道连。”


Yeah. Yeah I’m fine. It’s…just hardfor me, you know, thinking of this.


I’ve not seen myself in years. And Imean centuries. I mourned for my reflection, I accepted it had gone. But thethought of what I might be, well, that terrifies me, Dorian.


Dorian


他的恐惧中伴随着一种诡异的谜样的美。害怕自己的面孔,害怕面对自己的本质。他早已习惯了把自己当成别的东西。他讨厌去想起自己一直以来都是个什么样的存在。


There was a strange, impenetrablebeauty to his fear. The dread of his own visage, of being confronted by the manhe truly was. He’d grown so used to the idea of becoming something other. Hehated the thought of being just as he always was.


Toby


“你想象不到那种感觉,那种以另一类形式存在的感觉。我早就忘了自己的过去,因为我别无选择。让我这时候回忆起来,谁知道我会有什么反应?”


You can’t imagine how it feels,thinking you are something else. I forgot what I used to be, because I had to.To remember now. Who knows how I’d react?


Dorian


“哦,托比。”


Oh Toby.


Toby


“不过我觉得你是对的。我觉得你应该试试。给我画一幅像吧。”


But I think you might be right. Ithink you should do it. Paint my portrait.


Dorian


“算了,你不必勉强自己。”


Oh, no, you don’t have to say that.


Toby


“我要直面自己的心魔,道连。但是首先,我要直面自己。”


I need to face my demons, Dorian. Butfirst of all, I need to face myself.


Dorian


我给了他一周的时间好好考虑。然后他为我摆定姿势,整个过程持续了整整两周。这是我第一次也是唯一一次仔细观察他。那令人惊艳的苍白肉体,完美地停驻在死亡来临的瞬间。浑身的肌肉和筋腱历经岁月却丝毫不受磨损。那些漂亮的疤痕与缺憾也不会改变或愈合。然而突然之间,他看起来那么脆弱,不是他的姿态,而是他的眼神,他的眼中流露出从来不敢示人的倦意。


I gave him the grace of a week tochange his mind. Then he posed for me,overthe course of a single fortnight. It was the first andonly time I’d ever truly studied him. That exquisite pale flesh of his,captured in the instant of its death. Muscles and sinews that hadn’t threatenedto age in decades. Perfect imperfections that could now never change or heal.And yet he looked so frail all of a sudden, not in the way he held himself, butthere was something behind his eyes, a weariness he’d never dare express.


Toby


“现在可以看了吗?”


Can I see it now?


Dorian


“不行,还没完。我要让它尽善尽美。”


No, not yet. I want to get itabsolutely perfect.


Toby


“好吧。”


Oh.


Dorian


“相信我。它值得等待。”


Trust me. It’ll be worth it.


4.06


Dorian


画画的时候我们一言不发。他连看都没看我一眼。好像他不愿相信从我眼中看到的东西,或者说,不愿相信从我眼中会看到怎样的他。他大概以为我会流露出对他的厌恶,但是毫无保留地说,坐在我面前的造物真是美不胜收。随着感官进一步升华,我将全身心的爱慕都倾注到绘画过程中。


我不记得是怎么或者说什么时候画完的。冥冥中有个声音告诉我可以到此为止了。


“说吧?你觉得怎么样?”


We never spoke whilst I was painting.He never even made eye contact. It was as though he couldn’t trust what hemight see there, or what I might see in him. Perhaps he believed he might readsome hint of disgust in my expression, but truth to tell, that creature sittingin front of me was beautiful. And with my senses heightened further, myappreciation poured into the painting.


I can’t remember how or when Ifinished it. But something told me it was over when I had.


Well? What do you think?


Toby


看到它的第一眼我没有任何反应。我木然地举起来,把画捧到眼前。


I didn’t react when he first showedit to me. I simply took it in my hands, and held it close.


Dorian


“快说嘛,不至于那么难看嘛。托比?”


Oh come on, it can’t be that bad,surely. Toby?


Toby


“这画的真的是我?”


Is this really what I look like?


Dorian


他的手指从画布上轻轻划过,小心不去破坏刚刚刷上去的笔触。他先是抚过下巴那里的轮廓,然后沿着线条摸到嘴唇,摸到那乱蓬蓬的头发。看他的眼神好像认出了自己。在这幅勉强算得上镜像的独特画面前,他站了足足一个钟头。


He raked his fingers lightly acrossthe surface, being careful to avoid the recent brushstrokes. He caressed theline of his jaw at first, then traced the line up to his lips, his muddiedhair. There was a sense of recognition in his eyes. He stood there for almostan hour, taking in this peculiar, would-be reflection.


Toby


“这怎么可能是我!”


Oh this can’t be me.


Dorian


怎么不是。这就是我眼里看到的他。世上其他人都恨不得能看见这样的他。


But it was. It was how I saw him. And how the rest of the worldwished they could have seen him.


Toby


“我想出去逛逛。下周末吧,不要计划,不要惊喜,什么都不要去想,就这样跟着风说走就走,怎么样?你说呢?”


I’d like to go somewhere. Nextweekend, no planning, no surprises, nothing in mind, we just go where the windtakes us, yeah? What do you say?


Dorian


除了赞成,我还能说什么呢?


于是就在一周后,我们来到惠特比的海滩,这是自我们相遇以来第一次回到这里。


也是最后一次。


我们躺在午夜的海滩上,周围摆满蜡烛,假装是在盛夏的午后。我们坐在那里一边谈天说地,一边堆沙堡玩。


但是我知道事情不对劲。托比有一周都没从我身上吸血了,一次也没有,自从他看了那副画像后。如今,在这瘆人的夜光下,他显得憔悴不堪。


I said yes, how could I not?


And a week later we were on the coastof Whitby, the first time we’d gone back there since we’d met.


And the last we ever would.


We lay on the beach at midnightsurrounded by candles, pretending it was a summer’s afternoon. We sat there,swapping stories, building sand castles.


But I could tell there was somethingwrong. Toby hadn’t fed on me all week, not once since he’d seen that picture.And now, in that terrible twilight, he looked ill.


Toby


“这纯净的天空,这静谧的空气!
这不曾改变,不会改变的画面,日复一日!
无论何时我来看,都是这般景象;
时光撼动着你,却从未将你夺去。


Sopure the sky, so quiet was the air!


Solike, so very like, was day to day!


Whene’erI looked, thy image still was there;


Ittrembled, but it never passed away.


——William Wordsworth, SUGGESTED BY A PICTURE OF PEELE CASTLE, IN ASTORM,


PAINTED BY SIR GEORGE BEAUMONT


Dorian


“你还好吧?”


Are you alright?


Toby


“没事,只是吟两句华兹华斯。”


“要涨潮了。”


Yeah, just a little Wordsworth.


Tide’s coming in.


Dorian


“我知道。”


I know.


Toby


“你怎么想?”


What d’you reckon?


Dorian


他说想去游泳,于是我们一头栽进八月天冰凉的海水里。那里只有我们俩,在星空下的大海里畅游。我们把一切都抛诸脑后。


他踩着水把我抱在怀里,把遮在自己脸上湿漉漉的头发抹向脑后,一双眼睛凝视着我。一直凝视到我的灵魂深处。


He persuaded me to go swimming sodove into the ice cold August water. It was just the two of us, alone at sea,swimming beneath the stars. Suddenly nothing else mattered.


He held me there for a moment,treading water, wet hair draped across his face, he flicked it back and lockedhis eyes on mine. He stared into my soul.


Toby


“你看到了什么,道连?”


What do you see here, Dorian?


Dorian


“你是指什么?”


How do you mean?


Toby


“告诉我。你看到了什么?”


Just tell me. What do you see?


Dorian


“呃,好吧,我看到了你,海滨步道,大海,星星,月亮?”


他把我搂得更近,头靠在我的肩上,我感觉到了他的牙齿,紧紧咬住我的喉咙,刺入皮肤,划开血肉。


鲜血染红了大海,我不在乎。跟此刻的欢愉比起来这点疼痛微不足道,这份欢愉让我和托比结为一体。


在波涛中,他抱紧我,又问了一次。


Erm, well, I see you, the promenade,the sea, the stars, the moon?


He pulled me closer to him, restedhis head upon my shoulder, and I felt his teeth, pressed firmly against mythroat, piercing the flesh and bursting through.


My blood must have flooded the seabut I didn’t care, the pain gave way to a far more euphoric sensation,a bond that I shared with Toby.


He held me above the waves, and askedme again.


Toby


“现在,你又看到了什么?”


What do you see, now?


Dorian


刚开始我无言以对。感官还在强烈的反应中激荡。然后豁然开朗,我嗅到了空气中的咸味,看到脚下有鱼在海的深处遨游。就连头顶的星空都变得活泼起来。众星捧月,闪烁的光芒照亮寰宇。


就连托比也变得不同以往了。他好像变得更加紧张,更加柔弱了。


And at first, I couldn’t answer. Mysenses overwhelmed me. Suddenly I felt everything, I could smell the salt inthe air, see fish flitting in the depths beneath our feet. Even the starsseemed all the more vivid. Bodies of intense light, cast across the heavens,scattered around the moon.


But Toby seemed different, too. Hewas somehow more intense, more fragile.


Toby


“在你眼里,周围的一切都是那么美,道连。我却看不到。我所见之处,除了死亡就是衰败。那些本该是壮美的星辰,在我眼里只是一些聚爆燃烧、转瞬即逝的残火。你看到的巍峨峭壁,在我眼里也只是一堆被侵蚀殆尽、摇摇欲坠的断岩。我再也感受不到那些美了。还有你为我画的像。画里的男人死去已久。肉体虽然还活着,但其中的灵魂早已腐朽。”


“也许是时候让身体也随之而去了。”


You see so much beauty around you,Dorian. I don’t.


All I ever see, is all the death andthe decay. Those stars should be magnificent, but they’re not. They burning up,imploding, fading away. Those cliffs, that are such a spectacle to you, they’rejust eroding, crumbling, falling. I can’t see the beauty in them anymore.


And that painting you did of me. Thatman died a long, long time ago now. The body lives on but the soul within hasrotted. Perhaps it’s time the body joined it?


Dorian


“你在说些什么?”


What are you saying?


Toby


“生命的意义不仅仅只有美色,道连。死亡也是至关重要的。有其一而无其二……我也不知道会怎么样。我不是说不能跟你共度余生,不是这个意思。然而我永远只能看到一团败象,我觉得自己做不到了。想到我错过了那么多,想到我看不到你眼里的世界,我做不到了。我们的人生是两条路,道连,就算朝夕相处也走不到一起。”


“对不起。”


There’s so much more to life thanjust the beauty, Dorian. Death is just as vital.


To have one without the other…Idon’t know.


I could spend the rest of my life byyour side, don’t get me wrong. But all I’d ever see is the decay and I’m notsure I can do that anymore. Not knowing there’s so much more, not knowing Ican’t see the things you see. We lead different lives, Dorian, even if we spendthem both together.


Sorry.


Dorian


“那你……你有什么需要我做的?”


Is there anything…Is there anything Ican do?


Toby


“我想……我想我要好好看看日出,最后一次。你能陪我吗?”


I think…I think I’d like to see thesun rise properly, one last time. Think we can do that?


4.07


Dorian


我们慢慢游回岸上。两个人都不说话了,把衣服收拾起来后,登上其中一座峭壁的顶端。我们整晚坐在上头,浑然不顾周遭的一切,尽情畅谈,我已经想不起说了些什么,但在那时看来一定是全世界最重要的话。其实我们只是在努力避免沉默,避免去想最后那一刻的到来。直到天边开始泛白,他才转脸看向我。光芒照亮了层层云彩。


“你没必要真的那么做,你知道吗?我们赶紧回去还来得及。”


We swam slowly back to the shore.Neither one of us saying a word, we collected our clothes, then wandered offthe one of the clifftops. We sat there through thenight, oblivious to the elements, the two of us just talking,I can’t remember exactly what about now, but at the time it seemed the mostimportant thing in the world. But we were both just filling the silence,avoiding having to face those final hours. He only turned to face me when thesky began to brighten. The clouds picked out in light.


You don’t have to do this, you know?


We could head back.


Toby


“不。不,没事的。我要再看看它。说来有趣。我不记得以前有过这种憧憬。我一直以为自己很想看呢。也许我搞错了……啊!”


No. No, it’s fine. I want to see itagain.


It’s funny. I can’t ever rememberwanting to see it before. Always assumed I must have. Maybe I didn’t.


Argh!


Dorian


“好了,我们回去吧,找个地方给你挡光。”


Oh, we should go back, we can findshelter, cover you up.


Toby


“不!不!我必须要看。”


No! No! I have to see this.


Dorian


“就是说,托比,你真没必要——”


That’s the thing, though, Toby.You don’t.


Toby


“但我真的需要,道连。拜托了。”


But I do, Dorian. Please.


Dorian


一缕缕光线从地平线上渗出,峭壁被渲染一层朦胧独特的琥珀色。托比咬紧牙关,忍耐着剧痛。他的皮肤已经被太阳烤得发焦起泡了。


我伸手把他抱入怀里。


Streams of light had started to bleedfrom the horizon, bathing the cliffs in a peculiar amber haze. Toby’s teethwere clenched together, staving off the pain. His skin now charred andblistered by the sun.


I took him in my arms and held himclose.


Toby


“道连。疼。”


Dorian. It hurts.


Dorian


“我知道。我知道。”


他眼中的泪水也沸腾起来,水花洒落在他的脸上也落在了我的脸上。他的脸上满是悲伤和厌倦。


I know. I know.


Tears have startedboiling around his eyes now, drizzling down his faceand onto mine. He looked so sad and tired.


Toby


“道连,帮帮我。你说得对。我不…不想这样。啊啊啊!”


Dorian, please. You were right. Idon't-I don’t want to do this. Arghhh!


Dorian


我双手捧起他的脸,吻上他的嘴唇。这是第一次,我从他那里攫取到温暖。阳光还在摧残着他,痛苦的叫喊在我们的耳边回响不停。


分开的时候,他的发丝划过我的手,在指尖化作灰烬。这具身躯正变得愈发单薄。眼看就要四分五裂。那双充血的眼睛流露出求生的欲望。但是他也知道已经来不及了。他只想让我为他停留,陪他停留,在一切终结时。


“没事的,没事的,嘘。你会没事的。没事的。好了,你做得到。有我陪着你呢。你知道,我会一直陪着你。”


我牵起他的手,轻轻一握。灰烬从我的手心流逝,像海滩上的沙子。托比斜眼看着海面上那熊熊燃烧的火球。然后,他笑了起来。


I took his face in my hands andpressed our lips together. He felt so warm for the first time ever. And as thesunlight hit him, a scream of anguish echoed from him to me.


I ran a hand through his locks ofhair as I pulled away. Flakes of ash flittering through my fingers. This bodywas beginning to thin now. Cracks had started to form and those dry bloodshoteyes were bleeding with need. But he knew it was already too late. He justwanted me to be there for him, with him, when it ended.


It’s okay. It’s okay. Shhhh. It’sfine. It’s fine. Come on, you can do this. I’m here for you. Remember, I alwayswill be.


I took his hand in mine and squeezedit gently. I could feel the cinders shift between my grip like sand from thebeach below. Toby squinted at the ball of angry light above the waves. Andthen, he started laughing.


Toby


“呵呵,这就是太阳吗,道连?我想这就是大限了。多美啊,你说是吗?”


Well this is it then, Dorian? I thinkthis is the end now.


It’s beautiful, don’t you think?


Dorian


“就像你和我一样,对吗?一面是美丽,一面是死亡。”


Like you and me, yeah? Beauty anddeath together.


Toby


“是的……啊!好了,我该说一句,谢谢你,还有我爱你,道连·格雷。”


Yeah… Ahhh! 


Look, I ought to say, thank you, andI love you, Dorian Gray.


Dorian


“我也爱你。”


他的身体一下子就散开了,化作千百万的微尘。


它们随风飘散,融入到下方海滩的沙粒里,沿着海岸线弥漫开来。


我从未有过像托比这样的伙伴,以后也不会再有了。


好在他走得还算利索。好在我不必一直看着他难受。


我把他的衣服捡起来,然后……然后我就坐在原地,在那峭壁的顶端,我举目眺望,望着灰尘随风舞动的轨迹。


这就像是我们第一次相遇的那个夜晚,我痴等着他的归来。我等啊等啊连着几个钟头地等下去,盼啊盼。然而他再也没有回来。






I love you, too.


His body just gave way without anywarning, evaporating into a million tiny fragments.


They floated on the breeze, minglingwith the sand on the beach below, spreading from coast to coast.


I never had a friend like Tobybefore, and I’ve never had one since.


I’m glad it was over quickly for him.And I’m glad I didn’t have to watch him suffer.


I gathered up his clothes, and…and Ijust sat there for a while, sitting on the clifftops looking out, watching thetrail of ash dance on the wind.


Like the very first night we met, Iwaited for him to come back. I waited for hours and hours and hours, alwayshoping. But he never did.


“永别了,永别了这颗孤独的心,
栖身梦里,绝世离群!
如此快乐,教人心疼,
因为无论从何得出,这般喜乐注定只是盲目。”


Farewell,farewell the heart that lives alone,


Housedin a dream, at distance from the Kind!


Suchhappiness, wherever it be known,


Isto be pitied; for ‘tis surely blind.


——William Wordsworth, SUGGESTED BY A PICTURE OF PEELE CASTLE, IN ASTORM,


PAINTED BY SIR GEORGE BEAUMONT


 




1“Adam & the Ants”,80年代的英国乐队,在现在看来就是乡土视觉系杀马特,后面提到的《白马王子》是他们的一首单曲。


[2]电影《回到未来》里的男主,特征是邻家style。


[3] “杰克丹尼”威士忌Jack Daniels的缩写,如下。


[4] Fashionably late原指在社交场合中姗姗来迟,以显示自己是个大忙人,托比在这里用来形容自己虽是死者(late),还十分新潮(fashionably so)。


[5] 威廉·华兹华斯,William Wordsworth,英国浪漫主义诗人。后面引用了两段诗均出自华兹华斯诗作《挽歌——观乔治·博蒙特爵士所绘《风暴中的皮尔堡》所作》



评论
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  1. 欣在江湖飘英耽译文组 转载了此文字
    Vla配音的Dorian和Hugh配音的吸血鬼Toby真是天生一对
  2. 不圆的珍珠英耽译文组 转载了此文字
  3. 戚润薇英耽译文组 转载了此文字
    !!!!男友出场啦!!!!
  4. 突击爵士英耽译文组 转载了此文字
    来吃粮!百分百童叟无欺绝不掺假英文耽美抓马来啦!需要资源请留言
  5. methyl英耽译文组 转载了此文字
    嗷,这一集超带感,但后面好虐T^T